The Rain in Spain

One thing I think I must make plain,

If you are driving in the rain,

Or if you’re learning ’bout sugar cane,

Perhaps you’re doing this in Spain,

And if you think you’ll go insane,

Then do the same as Auntie Jane,

They’re selling yarn just down the lane,

So go down there and buy a SKEIN!

I wrote this simple refrain to encourage everyone to remember that a title like “Skein of the Crime” is silly.  Perhaps something like “Skein Pain” or “Take the Last Skein from Clarksville” or “The Skein in Spain is spun mainly in the plain” would be fun little phrases.  But if you try to force me to see “skein” as “skeen” then I’m afraid I’ll hit you before I know what I’m doing.  It’s a reflex, you see.  I can’t help it.  It’s downright autonomic, it is.  “Skine” would make sense, etymologically, but “skane” is the proper pronunciation of this word in English and no amount of twisting it will convince me otherwise.  Don’t take this personally.  I do the same thing when people say, “I seen that!”  *shudder*